"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire." -F. Foch

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Hi there! I’ve never been great at introductions but here it goes…

I go by Rose Mejia but my real name is Rosalva. Rosalva Mejia Jauregui. Most people get intimidated by the Spanish “r” so I like saving them the effort. I was born and raised in South Central Los Angeles, or “the hood” as most people call it. My childhood was filled with overwhelming amounts of fear, anxiety, and trauma. Aside from living in a neighborhood where gang violence was common and someone dying on my block was the norm, I also experienced sexual abuse behind closed walls. …


“Your heartache is someone else’s hope. If you make it through, somebody else is going to make it through.” -Kim McManus

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Growing up, I didn’t know that the issues I had as a child were related to having a mental illness. I thought that my inability to fall asleep, my trouble stomaching food, my debilitating and awful fear of being around people were all just a part of who I was. I rightfully believed that the difficulty breathing, the shaking, the kicking, the crying, all of it, was due to having a failure for a body. My negative thoughts, my horrible dreams, the traumatic flashbacks, a glitch in my brain of some sort. I wasn’t a difficult child to take care of; I was always hidden somewhere in the house with my books or watching television. I enjoyed my alone time more than I liked being around other people and often kept to myself. I was shy and quiet. But little did I know that my projected silence would cause a lot more harm than good.


Relationships are mirrors; they reflect our insecurities, fears, and wounds.

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In today’s day of age, most of us have the privilege to choose our partner. We get to determine the combination of flaws and perfections that fit our preferences. We’re allowed to decide if their values and morals are compatible with our own. But within this comes the curse of overthinking, indecision, confusion, heartbreak, or even constant betrayal. As you may learn through your own experiences or from reading about research on relationships, we tend to attract similar types of partners over and over again.


….we can rather sit back and allow ourselves to become a victim with every passing minute, or we can pick ourselves up and face adversity that with a courageous heart….

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Just like the majority of the people, the year 2020 was a turbulent and stressful time for me. To be honest, it was stressful even before the pandemic. Overall, I had been engulfed by the unpredictable waves of the unknown for a long time. The year 2020 was supposed to be my “better” year after a heavy and emotionally draining 2019. I had the expectation of starting a doctoral program, getting engaged, moving out, and traveling to Europe for the summer. …


"Cause we were just kids when we fell in love, Not knowing what it was, I will not give you up this time." — Ed Sheeran

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My partner, Leo, and I have known each other for over half our lives now. We met when we were in the fifth grade. We had a crush on each other even then. Till this day our relationship still feels surreal after three years of being together because so much of my early life had been spent fantasizing being with him. Though we had always been a phone call away and lived not even a mile apart for almost ten years, we always stepped away from each other’s lives whenever we became too close. Till this day we aren’t sure if it was because we were scared of feeling a deep connection with someone who would understand us. Or perhaps we were scared of sharing the traumas and inner demons we were struggling with it. Despite this game of push and pull, the day we finally started dating we realized that we hadn’t been ready before for the serious relationship that we were about to build together. …


The fires we pass in times of struggle transform us into the receptors of life’s blessings and lessons.

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This past year, just like many others, has been one of the most difficult years I’ve faced. At the same time, it has also been the year of most growth. Prosperity. Benevolence. Development. Strength. Resilience…

In my first year as an undergraduate student, I was recovering from an eating disorder. Even though I had built some self-awareness in trying to heal and earn back my health, I was still very self-centered and self-focused. I didn’t think of other’s needs. I just wanted to control things to go my way, period. As I became more involved on campus, as I began to be around other people similar in age but different in mind, body, culture, beliefs, and personality, my mind began to open. I started to focus more on how others felt, their stories, and their struggles. There was a shift in wanting to make a difference in other people’s lives.


“But when I can, I learn to appreciate how it makes me different from everyone else. It’s just a matter of perspective.”

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Mental health disorders are often negatively stigmatized to be a disadvantage or inconvenience of some sort. And if you’re someone who struggles with a mental health disorder, then you most likely agree with these negative stigmas tagged onto them. However, perhaps this is me being overly optimistic, but I often believe that something good can come out of something “bad” or “negative.” As someone who has dealt with multiple mental health disorders throughout her life, I’d like to say that it’s always been a double-edged sword. Because despite the down spiraling symptoms and debilitating side effects, the unique neural wiring that comes with these disorders can be advantageous toward living a successful or productive life.


“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill

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The moment your life changes for the “worst” will be one of the most heartbreaking and devastating instances that you’ll ever remember. Your heart may start to pound, your stomach may drop, your breath may shorten, your thoughts may begin to race, and you may find yourself feeling empty and broken inside. Perhaps you feel physically stuck, paralyzed, frozen. Or, you have this sudden rush to run as far as you can, or even the urge to lunge forward and attack. These are all normal reactions to events that feel dangerous. Threats to our well-being that push us away from our safety zone. But after that initial reaction, what should we do? …


There’s yet so much that we don’t know. But if there’s anything that I learned this past year, it’s that knowing ourselves is one of the most invaluable qualities that we can own.

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With almost every mention of the year 2020, you’ll receive the notion that it was a completely dreadful year. Without a doubt, it was an ultimate shocker that greatly imprinted our lives. But I want to talk about 2020 on a lighter note. Because I can’t help to notice that despite all the traumatic and horrifying events that occurred this past year, there were moments of extrinsic beauty in between. I can’t talk for everyone, but 2020 for me personally was a time of growth. Greater self-awareness. Perseverance. And so much more.


Currently, it is estimated that almost half of the adult population in the United States is obese and children are slowly catching up.

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One of the most common goals in industrialized and modern societies is weight loss. Since the early 1990s, obesity has been on a steady increase for the past few decades. Currently, it is estimated that almost half of the adult population in the United States is obese and children are slowly catching up. Unfortunately, “losing weight” is often a goal that most people do not achieve. This is not to sound pessimistic. Over half of American adults with obesity in 2018 reported trying to lose weight. …

About

Rose Mejia

Striving to be a holistic psychologist & writer.

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