"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire." -F. Foch

Hi there! I’ve never been great at introductions but here it goes…

I go by Rose Mejia but my real name is Rosalva. Rosalva Mejia Jauregui. Most people get intimidated by the Spanish “r” so I like saving them the effort. I was born and raised in South Central Los Angeles, or “the hood” as most people call it. My childhood was filled with overwhelming amounts of fear, anxiety, and trauma. Aside from living in a neighborhood where gang violence was common and someone dying on my block was the norm, I also experienced sexual abuse behind closed…

They help us understand, predict, and control the world around us.

Sometimes, we wonder why some people don’t think the way we think. It makes me wonder if those people with different beliefs and values are seen as almost nonsensical and “wrong”.

If people saw the world the way we see it, then it makes me wonder if the world would be a better place. Oddly enough, most of us, if not all, fall prey to this bias.

We Are Cognitive Misers

According to Fiske and Taylor’s book on social cognition, we are “cognitive misers.”

This means that we sometimes only make attributions of other people and try to understand their behavior only under certain…

The same pain that pushes us to run away can push us in facing ourselves.

We often think that trauma means experiencing an event so treacherous, so frightening, that our bodies freeze or shut down. Dr. Gabor Maté, addiction expert, general physician, speaker, and author, has found that trauma isn’t what happens to us, but what happens within us.

He emphasizes the importance of childhood trauma because children are often the most affected by trauma. He shares that when a child is experiencing something stressful or anxiety-provoking, the child’s natural instinct is often to run to a protective figure to find shelter, security, and safety. But if the child does not obtain that sense of…

They were things he was willing to deal with because they were for a cause beyond himself.

My partner has been suffering from mental health problems for as long as he can remember. He often experiences extreme anxiety and panic attacks, even in situations where there isn’t anything alarming or threatening present. Certain activities will often elicit his panic without a doubt, like driving on highways or being far from his safe place.

He’ll often experience panic attacks so extreme that he finds himself unable to go out or engage in activities that he enjoys for hours or days at a time. …

Hope is embedded within desire and trust.

A common misconception for most realists is that hope is a waste of time and energy. Some may bother hoping because there’s a huge probability that it will not happen.

Well, if you follow a more materialistic kind of thinking, where you believe that only physical matter can cause an effect on the world, then I can see your stance.

If you hold a more transitional or spiritual stance, then you’ll notice that hope is only a reflection of the limitless possibilities out there.

The Bleak and Wholesome Reality

Don’t get me wrong — not all hopes and dreams always come true. It doesn’t always…

But how beautiful and extravagant that diamond will be?

Human potential is the unknown. It’s the unknown because, with each new accomplished challenging feat, we come to see that the bounds we saw as our limits to only be a mental illusion. Our capacity to be strong, compassionate, selflessly giving, and so forth can grow and extend itself with each new demand. Every bit of pain and suffering provides the key to access more of our potential.

But what exactly is potential? And how do we access it? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, potential (noun) is something that can develop or become actual. …

A good relationship starts with a good partner.

I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for over three and a half years now. The way our relationship has transformed with each passing month has been interesting because of the detailed nuances encapsulated in our relationship.

We’ve both struggled with our mental health since we were children. However, his suffering is more oriented toward panic and depression while mine is more within the depths of trauma and anxiety. Although we grew up in the same neighborhood and are both Chicanos, many of our beliefs and values are distinct. Such as how I believe more in spirituality but he’s…

A Mexican Proverb

When I was in college, a proverb that my parents would often repeat to me was “Lo que siembras es lo que cosechas.” This proverb has multiple origins, the most famous being from the bible: “with the sweat of his face he was going to eat the bread” (Génesis 3:19). In accordance with scripture, Adan interpreted this as “reap what you sow.” In Spanish, this directly translates to “cosechar lo que se siembra.” But with time, the variation “Lo que siembras es lo que cosechas” became well-known.

“Reap what you sow” carries both literal and fundamental importance. In literal terms…

It has a life of its own.

According to my therapist, grief has a life of its own. Meaning that the way we feel and process this emotion is very distinct compared to all our other emotions. Grief can be a mixture of intense and negative feelings like anger, sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, and numbness. Sometimes it may have a hint of positive emotions too, like joy or humor.

Many people interpret grief to be synonymous with depression. They think that after a loss, an individual will have similar symptoms, behaviors, and thoughts as someone who is depressed. …

But the avoidance was never enough.

As time went by, the anxiety and panic only worsened to the point that I would have multiple nightmares almost every night and multiple anxiety attacks throughout the day. I’d have my best friend sleepover as often as possible and I’d keep myself busy by hanging out with her, watching movies, and doing lots of art projects. As the anxiety began to become a chronic state, I tried finding other ways to escape. Binge eating, cutting, addiction to social media and video games, and eventually even drinking. But the avoidance was never enough.

A few years later, after I began…

Rose Mejia

Striving to be a holistic psychologist & writer.

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